New Orleans

D and I decided we should take a trip to New Orleans in March of this year. That would be our contribution to the struggling economy. I looked up a hotel and booked it. It was for Easter weekend and the hotel said it wouldn't be super crowded.

D and I woke up early on Friday morning, loaded the car and headed to the Big Easy. It's a short trip. Only about 4.5 hours. We arrived at the French Quarter Suites already salivating for the shrimp po-boy that was minutes from our mouths.

We checked in and headed down St. Ann to Bourbon. I was in search of the Acme Oyster Bar. There was a small line outside but we were quickly seated. After perusing the menu, I decided on 1/2 of a shrimp po-boy with gumbo and D ordered 1/2 of a shrimp po-boy and 1/2 of an oyster po-boy. Oh, and 2 bloody marys please! We were in New Orleans after all.

The food came out and so did our 2nd round of bloody marys. It was very, very good. There were mirrors above the oyster bar. You could watch them shucking the oysters with incredible speed. It's too bad neither one of us likes raw oysters!

Suprisingly we left there a little buzzy. I called my Dad from Bourbon to share the moment. He was jealous.

We headed back down Bourbon to St. Ann. That's where the "gay section" starts. The Bourbon Street Pub is one of my favorite places to hang out. The staff is very nice and they have a bathroom that locks and has an actual toilet. No troughs in the downstairs bathroom. We got there around 4:00ish and somehow scored seats at the bar.

Allen, the bartender noticed my shirt. It said "When in doubt, whip it out". He wanted me to whip mine out. I told him I'd have to see his first.

I looked up at the screen when I heard Cher come over the speakers. They were showing a montage of Cher moments on the big screens around the bar. She was on a horse singing Half Breed. Then she started with Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves. I could only smile. It was sort of surreal to be sitting in New Orleans singing with Cher after that terrible disaster had happened only months before.

Day turned to night, and I looked at my watch and it was already 9:00! We'd had umpteen BLs and shooters galore. To say we were buzzy would be an understatement. Here we are at the bar. (Notice my glasses.)

Since we'd been in the same place and seen the shifts change at the Pub, we decided it was time for a change of scenery. I'd asked around to see if there was another bar with an actual toilet and I was told that a bar right down the street called Good Friends has appropriate facilities. I'm too old and I've peed in too many undesirable places to ever do it again.

D and I relinquished our seats at the Pub and headed out. Good Friends wasn't too crowded. I made a beeline for the bathroom to check it out. No sense in staying if I have to pee in a trough.

The bathroom was actually quite good. No lock though so I had a pee very quickly. I hate the look of shock on both parties when the door is opened and I'm squatting over the toilet. It's not pretty.

Anyway, I went back to the bar and D had decided we hadn't had enough shooters yet. She had ordered two Stoil Raspberry penetrators. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's chilled Stoli. Nothing else. I looked at the concoction in horror. D just grinned. I picked up the drink, said "cheers" to D, made a face, and chugged. It was not good. I looked over at D and she had sipped about 1/3 of it. She looked at it and said "No way, you'll have to finish it. I've got quarters up on the pool table." She twirled around and was gone in a flash. The bartender was just standing there waiting on me to finish. I don't know why. I just stared at it while the other shooter took effect on me. It's sort of like taking a Valium. That first sensation after you swallow. Anyway, I stared and stared at it. Finally, I asked the bartender to rechill it. I was buying time. He poured it back in the shaker and then poured it back in the glass in no time at all. Like I said, it wasn't too busy. I picked up the shooter and slammed it down. What else could I do? It wasn't as bad as I thought. I got up to see how D was doing on the pool table.

She'd won about 4 games in a row and was running everyone off. I watched her play but got tired of standing so I went back to the bar where an older gentleman was playing NTN. That's the trivia game that is played all over the nation at bars. I LOVE it! I started helping him with the answers and we became fast friends.

He was in his 50's and a retired drag queen. He'd recently lost about 50 pounds and was considering performing live again. Once the game was over, he decided to show me some of his moves. There was a pole involved and a bunch of tiptoed dancing and hand gestures.

Once D had beaten everyone in the bar at pool, there were no more challengers. I had tired of this bar and decided we should go back to the Pub. It was around 2:00 am now. We were feeling no pain.

Mark was still bartending and when he saw us approaching, he poured out 3 blue shooters. I didn't think there was any way I was going to do another one, but I picked it up and toasted Mark and shot it. D did the same. It was still pretty crowded but we were able to sit down.

D likes to make friends when she gets DR (drunk). I have to get on to her from time to time because her new "friends" are not always desirable friends. Let's run down the "friends" she made this night. A U.S. Marshall, a marine, 2 queens and some biker dude that had his wife with him. She had a black eye. Nice.

It was 4:00 am when we stumbled out of the Pub. The hotel wasn't far but I spotted a cab and flagged him down. He was really nice and said it was a good idea to take a cab instead of walking at this hour. The cab fare was $5 but I gave him $10. It was the best cab ride I'd ever taken.

Before this trip, it had been about 10 years since my last visit. I hope to go again in September or maybe October for Halloween. Everyone should go spend some money down there. It's well worth it.