Cowboy Christmas Day 1

Yeehaw ya'll! Mooey and I just got back from San Antonio/Austin! We had an incredible time!

We left on Thursday, the 21st, and flew into San Antonio. Took the shuttle to Hertz and picked up our chariot.

Introducing the 2007 Chevy Aveo. What a piece of shit.

Anyway, we headed to the hotel. We checked in, freshened up and headed to eat. We got in the car and went to Market Square. We were planning on eating here. They were doing construction on the square so the shopping was limited. Mooey bought a couple of things and then it was time to eat and drink!

After filling up on tacos and enchiladas, we headed to the River Walk. But not before checking out The Alamo. We were staying right across the street.

The River Walk is a tourist's paradise. There are bars everywhere. We made our first stop at Mad Dog's British Pub. It was a nice night so we sat outside. Our waitress appeared and she was very high energy and chatty. Mooey noticed her name right away but I missed it. When she brought my shooter, I got a chance to see it as well.

Her name was Honey. Mooey then asked her if that was her real name and she said "Well actually it's Honey Ann". Isn't that sweet?

We slammed several beers.

We paid our tab and headed to the next bar. We walked down the river and they had all the Christmas lights on the trees.

Next stop was Waxy O'Connor's Irish Pub. I ordered a black and tan and Mooey got a Stella. We didn't want to be posers and order Bud Lights.

After 2 of those, it was time to head over to the gay bar. It was a block from our hotel!

We went to the quiet bar first. The building was awesome on the inside.

Then over to the video bar.

By this time, we were really buzzy.

It was time for the show finally. The queens came out and performed Christmas songs. The makeup was excessive and the hair was big. Isn't everything big in Texas?

We watched 3 acts and then it was time to go. I didn't think I could have another beer. We stopped at the door and asked about where we could eat. They said the only place within walking distance was this place. So, off we went.

We ate an All-American Slam and then went to the hotel and passed out.

Wine

Thursday night there was a tiny gathering at Mel and Karn's house. We brought wine and cheese.

Before we headed over there, we meet Mooey at Old Zinnie's for beers. We somehow managed to slam 4 beers in an hour before getting over there. Will wonders never cease?

Mel and Karn had the house decorated.

The food was awesome. Everyone brought something delicious. Look at everyone chowing down (by that I mean posing for a picture)!

Check out my cute friends.

Self portrait.

After eating we retired to the porch.

Then it was time to sit in Santa's lap.

Then things started winding down.

Good night.

Cookie Decorating

Weenie brought home those already cut out sugar cookies that you can decorate. After baking them, she called me into the kitchen to begin with the icing. I have NO artistic ability so I immediately drew a penis on the snowman.

I'm 12.




I went into hysterics midway through while Weenie was putting more cookies in the oven. She came over and had no idea what I had drawn. I had tears coming from my eyes (I'm 12) and she had this incredulous look on her face. I said "It's a dick!" and she said "Oh, well his balls are on his neck."

Holly's Birthday Cele

Friday night was Holly's birthday party at The Happy Mexican. Weenie and I stopped by Joe's liquor store to procure some Bombay for the birthday girl.

Before that, we'd met Mooey and Hoops at the Bayou for beers and to consolidate cars. There was no sense in taking 2 cars downtown.

We were the first to arrive and the place was pretty empty. I was glad. We sat down and immediately ordered margaritas. They hand make the drinks with fresh squeezed lime and orange juice, Grand Marnier and Patron. Delicious! I limited myself to one because they are so deadly. We noshed on chips until the others arrived.

Once Holly and Mary arrived, we ordered food. Weenie and I decided to split nachos. Hoops ordered this pork burrito. OMG, it was unbelievable.

After the margaritas, it was time for Tecate! By the time we left, we had drank all the Tecate they had. Sorry!

Finally, Nikki and Renee arrived.

Then Nikki got tired of holding her beer and let her ample bosom do it for her.

More pics...

Is it my birthday?

The cake arrived and it had chocolate titties on the top.

Then Holly showed how she feels about chocolate titties.

After cake, we decided to head over to Earnestine & Hazel's for a few more beers.

Dancing commenced.

Then drinking (standing).

We left there after about an hour. The college kids are overwhelming and stupid. We headed back to the Bayou. Some things never change.

Sleep Talking

After staying out way too late on Friday night due to Holly's birthday (post and pics to come), I was napping in the recliner on Saturday. Due to my snoring, Weenie was in the bedroom taking her own nap. The phone was near me and it must've rang. I never answer the phone. I hate it. But apparently I like talking on it while I'm asleep. I'm not sure how long I talked with the East Indian Telemarketer (EIT), but it must've been a while.

I was startled awake by EIT screaming "Are you sleeping!!! I hear snoring!!" to which I replied after I finally realized where I was and that I was on the phone "Oh no, that's the TV". She then resumed her spiel, I was horrified to learn that I was signing up for something that cost $29.95. I tried to figure out what she was selling without admitting I had been asleep the entire time we had been on the phone. She was going on and on about the internet and TimeWarner and blah, blah, blah. I told her I did not have my internet through TimeWarner and besides that, Comcast bought TimeWarner. EIT then became very angry with me and told me that she had been telling me about this internet service for 10 minutes and could I even speak English? She then slammed the phone down. I so hope they call back!

The Ho! Ho! Ho's! Show!

Weenie, DP (Weenie's bro) and I decided to go to the 2nd* (I think) annual Ho! Ho! Ho's! Show.

*Update: Weenie just screamed at me and said "Weren't you listening! They said at the beginning it was the 4th show!" To which I retorted "I do not remember because I was drinking."

We were so excited because last year's show was just great. These amazing and talented women just blow me away with their voices. And together, chills! The harmonies are just beautiful. And for $5? Give me a break. They should be charging $20!

Here we are with Susan. She's such a sweetie. She's finally home from being on tour with Cat Power.

The show finally started and Susan was first. She started playing and I thought I was hearing Joni Mitchell's The River. The last time I had requested it, she said she hadn't practiced it and she would play it another time. Looks like tonight was my lucky night! It was so beautiful. I took a short video for your viewing pleasure. I hate you all missed it!

Alvin Youngblood Hart was in attendance and was nice enough to pose for a few pics.

Here are a few more pics from the night. I know ya'll have all been waiting on a pic of Weenie's brother (DP). So without further ado, here it is.

Susan's sweet husband with Weenie.

DP made us go to the Monkey after the show and they ran us out at 3:00. I don't think I could've had one more beer.

Obligatory Cat Picture

Here is Booger and Pepe! They are best friends now. Veronica (not pictured) hates them both.

Thursday Night

Surprisingly, we found ourselves at the Bayou last Thursday night. It was pretty dead, so we headed up to the Monkey. It was pretty lively and I looked at the end of the bar and there was my main man, Jeff. I made a beeline.

Then I looked around and saw Ronnie and Susan. Ronnie is a little camera shy but I can't say the same for Susan! Here's her front with me and Weenie.

Here's her back...

We left these jokers at 2:00 am, you know, because we have to work!